Each Life Creates Endless Ripples.
~Frank Herbert |
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By Sheryl Wilde “Evelyn is 23 now," says Rosemary Gatto, Evelyn's mom. "She’s very sassy and she just loves being done up. She’s got nail polish on. She’s got her hair done. She’s got the buns – the Princess Leia buns. "She went to prom. She had two boys fight over her in class – one with autism and one with Down syndrome. They actually fought – had a real scuffle! And she’ll come home with love letters and flowers. “Seeing life through the lens of someone with special needs makes you realize just how little some things matter. When Evelyn laughs, it is the best thing in the world." |
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Rosemary had Evelyn when she was 15 years old.
“Sometimes we had no electricity,” says Rosemary. “Sometimes we didn’t have hot water. We lived in poverty in a very bad neighborhood. That was just what happened to girls, I guess, at that age, in that neighborhood."
Rosemary’s mother was an advocate of tough love. My mother said, “There is no abortion. You’re not going to a special school. You are going to college. You’re going to continue and you’re going to do something great." “So, that’s what we did."
“I was still in high school and my mom stayed home with Evelyn during the day. And we went through Evelyn’s seizures. During my junior year, she was having seizures all night long. I had no option. I was always on alert. One little cold, she would die. If she choked on something, she would die. It was go, go, go. But I graduated high school at 17 and two months later I was in college." Evelyn suffered a stroke while in the womb and has bilateral schizencephaly, an extremely rare developmental birth defect characterized by abnormal slits, or clefts, in the cerebral hemispheres of the brain.
“There are holes in Evelyn’s brain, in the back part of her right hemisphere, and the front part of her left hemisphere, so the two hemispheres don’t communicate with each other as they should. She’s in a wheelchair. She needs g-tube feedings. She’s legally blind. She can’t talk. But I’m a very spiritual person. I think things have always just happened the way they were meant to. With Evelyn, I believe things came into her life just as they were supposed to.
“Not having electricity. Not having hot water. These things were meant to happen. It built us stronger – and this little girl was a part of it all.” |
Taking care of Evelyn, though, was hard work. “My current husband and I were struggling," says Rosemary. "We had a four-person staff in our home, helping to take care of Evelyn, from 6 am to 10 pm. So, I had my career. My husband had a career. And we had someone in our home from 6 am to 10 pm every day. It was rough. “I had taken some classes at Regional Center, and they were very candid. The instructor said, “You’re going to have to make a choice when Evelyn is 21, or possibly when she’s 25. You will need to either place her or stay home and take care of her. You can’t do both. “I could see the symptoms of ‘you can’t do both’ taking a toll on my marriage. You just can’t raise a special needs child and continue to work fulltime and care for your husband, your children and your home.”
But, when Rosemary and her family found Mountain Shadows, everything changed.
“The first day we drove into the Mountain Shadows campus, we were going over the speed bump, and there was the Mountain Shadows Mayor, resident Kenny. He was going across the street in his wheelchair. And that was it. Seeing that the residents have their own little community. That it was safe. That they all know each other. The 24/7 care. That all meant a lot. “Then, when we moved Evelyn to Mountain Shadows, the first two weeks she didn’t want to come home! I asked her, “Are you ready for us to come and take you home?’ And she said, ‘Nope!’ That was it for me. “Mountain Shadows gave Evelyn a life – and gave my husband and my children a second chance. Since she moved to Mountain Shadows, I have this sense of inner peace. Evelyn is okay. It’s not all just on me. If something happens to me, Evelyn will be okay. She’s safe. She’s provided for." |
“At Mountain Shadows there is love and there is caring," adds Rosemary. "That means everything to me.
“And the experience has had many ripple effects in my life. For example, I used to work for the DOD, in foreign military sales. Our department supported F18 jets for Canada, Australia, Switzerland and Spain. After 911, the Canadian Airforce was sending jets towards Iraq and they started bombing. It happened on a Friday afternoon and I couldn’t find anyone to take care of Evelyn. So I had to stay home with her.
“That was at a time when you couldn’t work from home. I couldn’t login to systems from home. So there was nothing I could do. I was the gatekeeper, so to speak, for a special device that goes over the black box in a Canadian airplane. And we were short one, because I had to stay with Evelyn. It was crazy. I wasn’t able to be there, at work, so they were one short. I was a logistics management foreign military officer at the time, and we were one jet short – and that could have meant someone’s life.
“After Evelyn moved to Mountain Shadows, I had another similar experience when I worked with an IT company for Kaiser Permanente. My company did cutovers of the phone systems at the medical office buildings and hospitals. The cutovers were done on Friday nights. Thanks to Evelyn being at Mountain Shadows, I was at every single medical office building, every Friday night, installing those phones. I was the project manager and every Friday night we were there until 3 am, when no one was there.
“Evelyn was safe at Mountain Shadows, and I was there every single night for all of the cutovers. I got to be a part of that, and I know that Kaiser has a good phone system now and that patients can get through to their doctors, ambulances can get through to their emergency rooms, doctors and nurses can make critical calls, all that good stuff. And I was able to do it because Evelyn was safe and well taken care of at Mountain Shadows. “When Mountain Shadows helps a special needs child, it has a ripple effect. They are also helping a family, and a community. My marriage survived. My kids are thriving. Where would we be without Mountain Shadows?" |
“Many special needs individuals can’t really do much due to their disabilities, but they have the same level of love, every single time they look at you," continues Rosemary. "There is no judgement. They don’t care how much you make. They don’t care about your ethnicity. They don’t care about anything except, ‘Is there love there? Are you a cool person to hang out with?'
“Everybody knows love is the ultimate thing. Evelyn, the Mountain Shadows residents, they exuberate love constantly. That’s a lesson we can learn from them. And, unless you spend time with them, you won’t get that gift. They don’t think about what life should or shouldn’t be. They are just being. All they do is love. That’s it. And it’s priceless. “When Evelyn moved to Mountain Shadows, it was like peace for me. That I’ve gotten some peace, some help – and that Evelyn is okay, that is the biggest gift possible. I am eternally grateful to Mountain Shadows and all of its supporters." |
The Mountain Shadows Foundation - Because We CARE |
Thanks to YOUR SUPPORT, the Mountain Shadows CARE program provides recreational and social experiences to residents and participants, like Evelyn, adding meaning and richness to their lives.
It's easy for you to help us continue to provide activities like this - activities that improve the quality of our residents’ lives in fulfillment of their dreams. Here are some ways you can help ensure these crucial activities can continue for years to come: - Make a one-time donation today by clicking on the donate button below.
- Make a monthly or annual contribution.
- Leave a Legacy Gift.
To learn more about the Mountain Shadows Foundation Legacy Society, to include us in your estate plan, or to let us know if you have already designated Mountain Shadows to receive a legacy gift, please contact Mandy Huiras, Director of Development at: mhuiras@mtnshadows.org, or visit our website by clicking here:
Learn More About the Mountain Shadows Foundation Legacy Society Please share this story with your family, friends and co-workers to help grow our Mountain Shadows Family! |
Mandy Huiras Mountain Shadows Foundation Director of Development
Contact Mandy today to learn more about the Mountain Shadows Foundation and how you can make a difference in the lives of our residents:
mhuiras@mtnshadows.org |
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