All About Eve: Magic Wands & Wishes |
by Sheryl Wilde New Crepe Myrtle house resident, Eve, peered into the iPad camera and asked, “What would you like to learn from me today?” During our interview with Eve, we learned about many things – about magic, love, life, death, and so much more.
And, as we begin her story, we will share some simple wishes, directly from the heart of Eve. |
Abracadabra! As we wave our magic wand, first we ask YOU, our Mountain Shadows family, “What would your three wishes be?”
To win the lottery? A fabulous new home in an exotic location? A Maserati? Our new Crepe Myrtle house resident, Eve, was asked this same question, and her answers made us pause.
And, as we pondered the magical possibilities of wishes, we realized we had but one – that more wishes be about what really matters – like friendships that last for seven decades, and love that sees past all disabilities, and cherry pie. |
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When the magic wand was waved, these were Eve’s three wishes:
“If I had a magic wand, I would wish for a vacation. I’d like to go to Pennsylvania to see Judy. This is something you won’t believe. I had this same girlfriend, Judy, when I was a little girl. She is still my girlfriend today. I just turned 75 and Judy will be 76 in November. In Pennsylvania, we’d go shopping for some clothes. We would go to some magical place, maybe some sort of museum. I would like to stay in a new, fancy hotel and see new things that weren’t there when I lived in Pennsylvania. Maybe I would eat a hoagie.
“My second wish would be to meet a man who is very kind and considerate, and who would treat me nice and take me out on a date. Somebody who would like me for who I am and always treat me with respect. Someone who wouldn’t be bothered by my handicap. A nice gentleman, and he would have to be handsome. “And, if I had a magic wand, my third wish would be to go on a picnic to some place really nice, maybe in the mountains. I would bring some watermelon. I like watermelon. Dessert would be angel food cake and a cherry pie.” | |
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We wanted to learn more from Eve: “What did you learn from your parents?” Eve:
“I learned about love and respect from my parents. I learned from them that being handicapped wasn’t so bad. They taught me never to be ashamed about being handicapped. I sometimes felt self-conscious. They taught me I had a lot to offer. They told me I was such a caring person. I learned that when I got upset, or when I took a seizure and wasn’t feeling well, they were always there to pick up the pieces. My parents were my best friends.”
“What was your dad like when you were a child?” Eve: “I was very happy when he came back from business trips. I knew it was dad when he came in the door, because I knew his footsteps. I would holler his name out loud, “Daddy’s home, daddy’s home!” “Whenever I cried, he would calm me down. He would say, “I’m home now, Eve. You don’t have to cry.” And he would give me a bearhug.
“Before he got Alzheimer’s, he used to take me to lunch a lot, just father and daughter, together. When he hugged me or kissed me, I felt like a queen or a princess, and it felt magical. Before he died, I told him what a good father he was, and he took my hand, and cried in front of me. I said, “I love you, dad.” That was overwhelming and I never got over seeing him cry. It felt like a sharp pain in my heart. I think he knew I loved him.”
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“What was your mom like when you were a child?” Eve:
“She would read me stories. She would give me hugs and carry me up the stairs when I was sleepy. She was very loving.
“I remember when I got lost and didn’t come home on the bus. When the policeman brought me home, he told my mother she was lucky they found me alive. I was tired and hungry. She fed me and put me to bed, and she was crying. I was never so happy to see anybody. All I wanted was my mother, and I got her. She hugged me and she kissed me, and she cried because she was worried whether she would see me again. I think I cried, too. I was scared of being in the big world by myself.
“I remember her taking me to kindergarten. The teacher told my mother I wasn’t good at cutting. I was really sad, because nobody wants to hear they’re bad at doing things. That made my mother feel bad for me. She said, “Don’t worry, Eve. You’re good at a lot of things.” I couldn’t do a lot of things, but I tried, and I think I was a pretty good person.” |
We think Eve is a pretty good person, too. And we wanted to learn more, so we spoke with her brother, Todd Jeffries. Todd:
“It was obvious early on to my parents that something was going on with Eve. She was having seizures at a very young age. She went through a lot of testing and it was obvious that she was developmentally disabled.
“It was difficult, because in those days, we’re talking about the 1950’s, as a society, we didn’t know much about the best ways to integrate people with disabilities into society. There was a lot of prejudice against people with disabilities, a lot of stigma.
“My parents did the best they could, but it was not always easy.
“Today, we’re a little more enlightened about how we treat people with disabilities. There are more options. I think society is more accepting now than they were in the 50’s. There was one doctor who suggested that Eve have a lobotomy. That’s the mindset that was going on in the 50’s. My parents were appalled. They just said, “No way.” |
Todd continues: “Eve grew up in Pennsylvania. My parents moved to California in 1978 so that Eve would have better opportunities. They got her involved with Regional Center in San Diego.
“Then about a year ago, Eve had a seizure that changed everything. It was very challenging.
“Eve was critically ill after her seizure. She was in the hospital, or back and forth between the hospital and nursing home, for 10 months before she came to Mountain Shadows. When she had the seizure, they rushed her by ambulance to the hospital. She was in ICU on a ventilator for days. She had a feeding tube in her stomach. It was really, really serious. We didn’t know if she was going to make it.
“The fact that she can get up and use a walker, and walk 10 or 15 feet, is good. I thought she’d never be able to do that again. She has come a long way, and she is proud of herself. She made the effort. We are really in awe of how far she has come since being in ICU, to where she is now at Mountain Shadows.
“We’ve seen a lot of progress at Mountain Shadows, especially mentally and emotionally. She really seems to be happier. In the nursing home, she would get really scared. She’d say, “I’m afraid. What’s going to happen to me?” That’s gone now. She feels very settled and comfortable at Mountain Shadows, and she looks great. It’s very apparent to us that she is thriving there.” |
Todd adds:
“We get on the phone with her and she just chats away, a mile a minute, about everything she’s doing. She was thrilled they celebrated her birthday recently.”
Tabitha Delgado, RC, Birch, Crepe Myrtle houses, MSCH – San Diego adds:
“Eve’s birthday was earlier this month. I happened to work the night shift that night. So I walked into her room, and as soon as she was wide awake, I started singing Happy Birthday to her. She got so excited, so emotional. She’s like, “You remember my birthday?” And I was like, “Of course!” And I continued singing. And she just started hugging me and she’s like, “I didn’t think anyone would ever remember my birthday!” She was just in happy tears, in happy tears afterwards. She really felt special.
“When Eve is happy, she’s beyond happy. She will show it. She’s really loved by everyone here. She knows it. She feels it. Some of the staff gave her presents for her birthday. They gave her a special blanket, a butterfly blanket. That blanket always has to be on the top of her bed, because the staff gave it to her. She cherishes it. And when she’s sitting in the living room, on the recliner, she will ask for that butterfly blanket.
“When she first moved in, it just seemed like she had lived here forever. She was just so happy.
“She is part of the family already. She says, “I feel like I’m at home now. I’m at home at Mountain Shadows.” |
Todd adds:
“Eve talks to us sometimes about when people have, and this is her wording, ‘When people have handicapped children, and they don’t keep them. I was lucky because my mother loved me so much and she kept me. Sometimes people have handicapped children, and they get rid of them, and my parents didn’t do that. They loved me.’ She’s heard horror stories from other children in the schools she attended, so she feels very fortunate that her parents didn’t give her away, and they gave her a really good life. Of course, the idea that developmentally disabled children could be “sent away” was not something my parents ever talked to Eve about; they would not have wanted to broach any subject that might be upsetting to her.
“One thing I’ve learned from Eve is to be more accepting of other people. We’re all different, and you have to accept them for who they are. I’ve also learned how to slow down and really be present in the moment. “My hope for her is that she feels like she has a home and that she is part of a family. I think now she feels she has a home at Mountain Shadows, and I want her to keep feeling that way. I want her to make friends, and want her to be fulfilled, and to feel really positive about her life. “I’m happy she’s in a place that she loves, where she feels comfortable, and where she feels really supported. Knowing she’s safe, secure, happy, and being well cared for, that’s all we can ask, and it takes a huge load off our shoulders.
“I’ve been very impressed with the interactions I’ve had with everyone at Mountain Shadows. Everyone we’ve met, I feel very confident in their abilities, and I really feel they care. I feel that Eve is in good hands now.” |
Adds Eve: “I always try to be the kind of person who cares a lot about other human beings. I try so hard.
“You have to wake up sometime in your life and figure out what is important to you. You might have some fears about dying. I’m scared about dying sometimes. I’m not ready to die yet. I want to live. I want to live as long as I can, but I leave it to the man upstairs, God, because only He knows.” Eve peered into the iPad camera again and asked: “So, I hope you learned a lot from me today?” Yes, Eve, we did. We did.
And our wish for you, Eve, is that all of your wishes come true. Welcome home – to Mountain Shadows!
(Many of Eve’s quotes in this article are taken, in part, from her book, “Eve’s Life Stories”. As Todd shares: “Two years ago, we signed Eve up with a service called StoryWorth. They send you a question every week about your life. At the end of the year, they print a hard cover book, and you can add photos. Eve is pretty proud of it. Proud that she wrote a book. She finished the book two months before she had her seizure. In the book, she talks about growing up, what she did in her life, what is important to her. She talks about some of the difficulties of being handicapped, and how she’s dealt with it.)
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The Mountain Shadows Foundation – Because We CARE |
Thanks to YOUR SUPPORT, the Mountain Shadows CARE program provides recreational and social experiences to residents and participants adding meaning and richness to their lives.
It’s easy for you to help us continue to provide activities like this – activities that improve the quality of our residents’ lives in fulfillment of their dreams. Here are some ways you can help ensure these crucial activities can continue for years to come: -
Make a one-time donation today by clicking on the donate button below.
- Make a monthly or annual contribution.
- Leave a Legacy Gift.
To learn more about the Mountain Shadows Foundation Legacy Society, to include us in your estate plan, or to let us know if you have already designated Mountain Shadows to receive a legacy gift, please contact Mandy Huiras, Director of Development at: mhuiras@mtnshadows.org, or visit our website by clicking here:
Learn More About the Mountain Shadows Foundation Legacy Society
Please share this story with your family, friends and co-workers to help grow our Mountain Shadows Family! |
Mandy Huiras Mountain Shadows Foundation Director of Development
Contact Mandy today to learn more about the Mountain Shadows Foundation and how you can continue to make a difference in the lives of our residents:
mhuiras@mtnshadows.org |
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