“I think I had a lot of anger back then. A lot of anger, not towards her, but towards the fact, “Why her?'” ~William Garcia |
“I trust you with my daughter.” ~ William Garcia William and Ashley Garcia –
A Mountain Shadows Family Story by Sheryl Wilde “I remember that first night,” says William. “I was hugging a pillow. I just got so accustomed to having Ashley next to me and all of a sudden, she’s not there.
“We got married when I was 19. We were very young. Having a child was hard – and to have a child with this condition was really hard.
“It was really, really hard, because my wife and I separated. We still talked, but I took care of Ashley. I was working two jobs. So, I got no sleep. No sleep. Fortunately, I have a brother and sister. And after school they would come home, and they’d watch Ashley. That was really helpful. But I think the hardest part was just not knowing. I mean, I know how to take care of a normal child, but Ashley …
“Then my wife, Tami, suffered a heart attack, at age 19. So, we placed Ashley in a facility – and I hugged a lot of pillows. But I would visit her. I rode up. I rode, because I didn’t have a car back then. But I had a skateboard. So, I’d ride a bike, or use my skateboard, or even take the bus, just to go see her. I went to see her 3-4 times a week. Traveling back and forth on the skateboard and bike, I think that kind of relieved a lot of that anger I had. I was burning a lot of that off. And I was in really good shape back then. I don’t have that anger anymore.”
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“Ashley has cerebral palsy, the most severe level,” continues William. “She’s able to follow you, if you’re moving, with her eyes, and she can move her head and she moves her arms. But she’s totally dependent on everyone. “Ashley is my life. She’s vibrant. She’s awesome. I don’t know what I’d do without her. I love going to see her. I love spending time with her. I love her smile.
“Ashley, she can light up a room. She really can. I don’t know how to describe it, but it just … when Ashely is in the room, everybody seems to be happier. When we’re around her, everybody wants their turn with her. They want to push her in her wheelchair. Everybody wants to kiss her. It’s amazing.
“She’s able to light up a room even though she can’t talk to you.
“Ashley is my world.” |
“I remember a really special moment,” adds William. “I walked into the room and Ashley’s mom was there. I walked in and it was kind of a surprise because at that time we weren’t really talking. My wife just kind of distanced herself from me, but not from Ashley. I walked in there and I saw her and Ashley holding hands. She was looking down at her daughter. And Ashley was looking up at her mom. I just stood at the door, you know, and let them have their moment. It was special.”
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Adds William, “We came here, to the U.S., in 1980 from Cuba. All of us. My whole family. My stepdad passed away in 1986 from cancer. From then on it was just my mom taking care of us. And she was working 2-3 jobs trying to keep a roof over our heads. My mom tried – bless her heart.
“My mother – she’s very strong. She’s a very strong woman. She’s dealt with a lot over the years. The hardest thing was when my dad passed away. She had to see that. At the end, he didn’t want to be in the hospital, so the remainder of his time, he spent it at home. I didn’t spend that much time with my dad at that time, but my mom did. And when he passed away, my mom, she ended up losing the house. She’s had a lot of loss over the years.
“She’s a good woman. Very strong. I’ve learned a lot of lessons from her – don’t give up, respect others, treat people how you want them to treat you, and be honest. She’s my hero. I have a lot of respect for her.” |
“I thank my lucky stars for Mountain Shadows,” says William. “I’m so happy. I’ve seen some other facilities and how they treat the kids. I can sleep at night knowing my child is taken care of at Mountain Shadows. I know that they’re doing the right thing for these kids. I’m very, very happy with Mountain Shadows. And I feel very blessed Ashley is there. Mountain Shadows has far exceeded anything I could ever do for her. So, I want to say, ‘Thank you, thank you for all of this Mountain Shadows. I do appreciate it.
“The staff loves Ashley. Mountain Shadows is the perfect fit for her.
“The staff there, they kind of know Ashley better than I do. I can’t get there as often as I used to. She loves it when the staff and everyone all gets together and they’re all talking in the kitchen, and just shooting the sh**. She loves that. She loves the camaraderie. “Ashley likes having others around her, just talking, and she follows the conversation with her eyes and her head, and sometimes she does her little, her noises, and she’ll throw that in there, like, “Pay attention to me!’
“I think it’s important for parents to visit their kids, to ask questions. So sometimes, before I visit, I’ll call and I’ll let the staff know I’m coming, but other times I just do a surprise visit. You know, kind of to try to catch them off guard, but that hasn’t happened yet. The staff is always on it, so that’s really nice.” |
“Ashley is sweet, and so happy,” says Heather Van Alstine, MSCH-Riverside. “She enjoys hanging out with all her housemates and going to day program. She’s just a happy lady.
“Every day I go into the house and just say, ‘Hi, Ashley!’ And she has this huge smile on her face. Every time she is so happy.
“I always tell her she has a beautiful smile. She has the most gorgeous, straight, white, beautiful teeth. And she has perfect eyebrows. I tell her, ‘Ashley you could be a model!’ She is gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. Women pay for botox and cosmetic procedures. She doesn’t have to do any of it. She is naturally gorgeous. So I tell her that all the time.
“Ashley likes to socialize. She likes to be in the know. She likes TV shows that have drama, romantic comedies. She doesn’t like to be alone. Even at night, if she’s in her room by herself and she’s awake, she will call out for the staff to come in and sit with her and talk to her. The night staff has worked with her for a very long time. So they’ll stay and read to her.
“She enjoys just hanging out and being part of life, like everybody else.” |
“I trust everyone at Mountain Shadows,” adds William. “That’s hard for me to say. For me to say, ‘Hey, I trust you with my daughter.’ That’s a lot. I love her to death and I’m very protective, of Ashley, of my family. “So, Mountain Shadows does a tremendous job with her. When I go there, I feel welcome. I don’t’ ever see anything wrong. The residents, they always look happy. “ |
Continues William, “Having Ashley have cerebral palsy, and being in the Mountain Shadows homes, and seeing all the other residents, it really opened my eyes.
“Ashley has made me stronger. Sorry, I’m getting emotional. Sometimes I get a little emotional about Ashley.
“But I can’t say enough. I just can’t say enough. Mountain Shadows is amazing.” |
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The Mountain Shadows Foundation – Because We CARE |
Thanks to YOUR SUPPORT, the Mountain Shadows CARE program provides recreational and social experiences to residents and participants adding meaning and richness to their lives.
It’s easy for you to help us continue to provide activities like this – activities that improve the quality of our residents’ lives in fulfillment of their dreams. Here are some ways you can help ensure these crucial activities can continue for years to come: -
Make a one-time donation today by clicking on the donate button below.
- Make a monthly or annual contribution.
- Leave a Legacy Gift.
To learn more about the Mountain Shadows Foundation Legacy Society, to include us in your estate plan, or to let us know if you have already designated Mountain Shadows to receive a legacy gift, please contact Mandy Huiras, Director of Development at: [email protected], or visit our website by clicking here:
Learn More About the Mountain Shadows Foundation Legacy Society Please share this story with your family, friends and co-workers to help grow our Mountain Shadows Family!
To learn more about Mountain Shadows volunteer opportunities, please click below:
Learn about Mountain Shadows Volunteer Opportunities Here |
Mandy Huiras
Mountain Shadows Foundation Director of Development
Contact Mandy today to learn more about the Mountain Shadows Foundation and how you can continue to make a difference in the lives of our residents:
mhuiras@mtnshadows.org |
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