December 22, 2022
Love is an Action
by Sheryl Wilde“Before my wife, Jessica, and I were married, we went through some pre-marriage counseling. I was in the Navy at the time, and we were being married by a chaplain. He emphasized to us that love is an action.”
Those words proved to be a guiding light over the years, and their truth was crystalized for the Brown family during the pandemic.“
In March of 2020, everything about COVID was still an unknown. Jessica and I wanted to minimize the risk of exposure to Parker, who lives at Mountain Shadows Pine House under normal circumstances.“
The way to think about Parker is, all of the daily things you and I take for granted – the ability to dress ourselves, the ability to bathe and feed ourselves – these are all things that Parker has challenges with. So, someone has to help him, every day, for many, many hours a day, with all of these daily things.“
In addition to his challenges with daily living, Parker has medical issues, and if he were to catch COVID, it could be very serious for him. So, we decided Parker, and our other son, Austin, should come home and live with us. And we thought, “Oh, this will last a month and we’ll be fine.” But it didn’t last a month.
“So, all of a sudden, we’re living in a small condominium, and we have our two adult sons living at home with us. It was very tight quarters. “
After a month turned into more than a month, we realized, ‘Wow, this could go on for some time.’
“During the pandemic, our daily routine started in the morning at 7:00 am. First, we needed to get Parker out of bed. He weighs about 120 pounds, so we couldn’t just carry him and pop him into a wheelchair. We needed a Hoyer lift to help with that. Then there was dressing him, brushing his teeth, administration of medications, not just a couple, but many medications. Then there was breakfast. Parker can maybe drink something on his own, but he really needs help with eating.
“After breakfast, there were Zoom classes, and speech therapy, lasting several hours, which was not ideal. Many of the special needs students have short attention spans, and it’s very challenging.
“Then there would be lunch. And most afternoons, there would be medical appointments, with the urologist, with his hip surgeon, and from time to time, he gets injections to help with the tightness in his muscles. There would also be physical therapy, and massage therapy appointments during the week.
“Then, there was dinner, and after that, bathing Parker. To bathe him, you have to transfer him from his regular wheelchair over to his bath chair, and that goes into a roll-in shower. After the shower, there is a bedtime routine.
“Parker has cerebral palsy. It’s very common for adults with cerebral palsy to get dislocated hips. And both of his hips were dislocated at the time. He had surgery, and then he was in a kind of lower body cast for five or six weeks. We knew the surgical recovery was going to be fairly long and challenging, in addition to the normal daily caregiving,
“Issues arose during Parker’s recovery. He got kidney stones and had to be hospitalized. Then, during hospitalization, he got sepsis, which was very serious and very scary. Sepsis can be deadly. It’s very serious.
“And then, after all of that, we found out his left hip was dislocated again.
“While it was a huge challenge, a huge challenge, we are very much at peace with the decision we made to have Parker at home with us during the pandemic.
“We are so grateful that Mountain Shadows exists for the long haul, but, for the short term of the pandemic, that was the right decision for us.”
Parker has now returned to Mountain Shadows Pine House.
“If a parent doesn’t have a special needs child, they can’t fathom the magnitude of what you feel for a son who can’t provide for his own needs. And what it means to have a place that will love and protect them for the future.
“As parents of a special needs child, we worry about what will happen when we are gone. Your fear as a parent of a special needs child is that your child will not be surrounded by people who love and care for him as much as you do.
“I am so thankful that Mountain Shadows exists. The pandemic really made it very concrete that we need a place like Mountain Shadows for so many different reasons – for the day-to-day living support, and also for the sense of community, and the ability for people like Parker to be as independent as they possibly can be. We as parents, of course, want to love on him, but we also want him to be his own man. Mountain Shadows enables that.
“I know the staff at Mountain Shadows, they’ve been through fire, and there are some incredible human beings that work at Mountain Shadows, and we should all be grateful for them. We, as parents, are grateful for them.
“Mountain Shadows has provided to Parker – the word I’ll use is love.
“When I think back to the pandemic, and what we have learned, I think back to what the chaplain said before we were married. We learned that love truly is an action.”
During this holiday season, and every day throughout the year, our Mountain Shadows Family provides love in action to our residents – by helping them, and their families, in whatever way is needed.
Love is our action – Because We Care.
Happy Holidays to Our Entire Mountain Shadows Family …
With Love.
Please click below to meet Parker and the entire Brown family – and watch love in action!
Love is an Action: The Brown Family Story