MSF New Board Member: Kristi Day
The Greatest Mercy |
Kristi Day, New MSF Board Member |
by Sheryl Wilde
“I don’t talk about my first son very often,” says Kristi Day, new MSF Board Member. “Many people don’t have any idea about that chapter in my life. But I think, when you’ve been through what I went through, when your heart is breaking for your child who is less than you’d hoped for, there is a heaviness in your heart. It never goes away, but I think it made me a little more empathetic towards others.
“Maybe that’s why the Lord brought me to Mountain Shadows. Maybe I was brought here because I have an experience where I can relate, on a tiny level, with some of the parents at Mountain Shadows. And, maybe I can help in some way.” |
Kristi at Racket Wars in Palm Springs, with friends Phaedra, Janet and Lisa. |
“My son, Walt, was born with a heart defect. He was diagnosed in utero, at 20 weeks, with hypoplastic left heart syndrome (HLHS). The left side of his heart was not beating. The doctors recommended that we terminate the pregnancy, or if we decided to continue the pregnacy, if the child survived, we could provide comfort care. “Please understand that I already had a relationship with this child. We were already connected, so the diagnosis and those choices were devastating. “Fortunately, the internet was just expanding at that time. This was in 1998, or 1999. And we did a lot research, and discovered there was a surgery available for this condition. And the world expert was at Children’s Hospital in LA.
“We reached out to the surgeon and he said Walt was a candidate for the surgery. And I thought ‘A candidate! Compared to termination or comfort care, well, it gave us a little bit of hope.” |
Solana Beach sunset, with (left to right) Kristi, Morgan, McKamie and Matt |
“Right after he was born, they transported Walt to Children’s Hospital in LA. He had open heart surgery at day three of life. They didn’t close his chest up for the first week. “We were at Children’s Hospital for 21 days, then they sent us home with oxygen and a regimen of heart medications. Walt was a little delight, but the situation was also terrifying. I’m not a detailed person, and I’m thinking, ‘How do I keep him alive?’ “I was at our playgroup, wheeling Walt’s oxygen tank around. And I was thinking, ‘How do I go to Target with my baby on oxygen? A part of me, I admit, was embarrassed about it.” |
Kristy and daughter, Morgan. |
“Walt had his second surgery at four months. The surgery went well and he was able to be taken off oxygen. There was still a pretty strenuous medication regimen, but during that period he started to be able to crawl and do some typical things.
“At 13 months, he needed a third surgery. My pediatrician wanted him to be vaccinated, and I thought, well, he’s been through so much. I didn’t want to lose Walt to a preventable illness, so we proceeded with the vaccination.
“Unfortunately, Walt reacted poorly to the vaccination and developed myocarditis (inflammation of the heart muscle). I didn’t know what that was at the time, but he started to have a heart attack, so we rushed him to the hospital.
“They weren’t able to save him. Fortunately, both my husband and I were both there with him when he passed.” |
Kristi and Morgan, Chyenne Wyoming at the Rodeo |
“Two years later, I lost a daughter in utero. In some ways, this was harder to deal with than losing Walt. I had a relationship with her, my baby, in utero. She was my child. Her name was Sydney.
“It was hard. I had a lot of questions, like, ‘Lord, why?’ But, we don’t always know why. Sometimes, it just is.
“And while I believe this is the life God meant for me, at times I wonder, if we were to be given a sneak peak ahead of time, would any of us sign up for this life?
“Everybody faces something. God is growing you in a direction. You don’t become a diamond without heat. But also, God knows exactly how much you can take, and will never give you more than you can take. That’s the promise. But at the time, I was thinking, ‘Okay, I feel like this may be more than I can take, Lord.” |
Kristi and Morgan, skiing in Mammoth |
True to her faith, when facing life’s challenges, Kristi often asks herself, ‘What am I to learn from this?’ “What did I learn from those 13 months with Walt? I learned how to be still. And I learned about God’s mercy. |
Kristi, Morgan, and Kristi’s mom, Diana, at Morgan’s High School Graduation
|
“When I was married, my husband and I had a company together. We were travelling all over the world. We were very busy living a big life. And we thought we were just going to have kids, and they were going to be little backpacks, and we were going to go on with our lives, and they were going to fit into our schedule and our plan.
“But Walt was absolutely, like, ‘No. That’s not going to happen. You’re going to sit here with this little precious cuteness and you’re going to play the pacifier game. You’re going to be in this moment, and you’re going to enjoy this moment, because you don’t know how many more moments there will be.’ “Maybe that’s why I had Walt. To help me … slow down.” |
Morgan, Matt, and Kristi, getting the family Christmas Tree |
Kristi continues, “I have another son, Matt, who was born after Walt, and another daughter, Morgan, who was born after Sydney.
“I think what happened with Walt and Sydney made me realize how important they are. I feel they have been gifted to me, and I’m going to do the very best for them that I can. I was at every water polo game, every swim meet, and every band performance as they were growing up. “And I wanted to teach my kids that it’s not just about us. We’re here on this planet to be servants to the people around us. I tried to instill in them a servant heart.
“My children are also aware they had an older brother, and they know about Sydney. I think my experiences taught them to be more tender and thoughtful towards others, because you never know what crisis someone is dealing with in their life.
“I feel very fortunate. I have a mother who loves me. I have a father who loves me. I have two children who are good people. I have a career I love.
“While Walt and Sydney brought great challenges and joy to my life, and I learned so much from them, I do think it’s important to say that I don’t want to give the impression that my experience with them equates with the experience of parents of Mountain Shadows residents.
“I had Walt for 13 precious months. The parents of Mountain Shadows residents have had a lifetime of challenges, heartbreak, and joy, with their children. But, if Walt had lived, I can imagine how much I would have appreciated having a place like Mountain Shadows – and I want to do whatever I can to help uplift the families.” |
Kristi and her father, Dieter, in the kitchen |
In addition to her deep, personal connection to the mission of Mountain Shadows, Kristi serves as a Living Trust Advisor, where she provides comprehensive and heart-centered estate planning services.
“I have the ability to sit with people in their home, and walk them through this process that can be intimidating and scary. I work with many seniors and do a lot of special needs trusts. I also have a background in finance, marketing, and real estate, so all of these work together, and allow me to translate what can be a complicated process into a simple process. “I came to a point in my career where I really wanted to help people, rather than just selling another product. Many people don’t have a living trust, but many people need one.
“I love educating people, so I do a lot of workshops to teach people things like, ‘What is probate?’ or ‘How do you make sure you’re below the threshold for estate tax?’ or, if you are the parent of a special needs individual, ‘Will my child lose his or her benefits when they get their inheritance?’ “I can help people protect their legacies, and help them avoid the nightmare of probate. For families of special needs individuals, I can help them with tools that will safeguard their government benefits, while providing for their future care and quality of life. “I can help give my clients peace of mind. I just love that part of what I do.” |
Kristi, Kay, Dominique, and Lisa, at the 31st Mountain Shadows Fall Classic |
Kristi has played in the MSF Fall Classic Golf Tournament for the past three years in the only all woman foursome.
“Playing in the golf tournament has allowed me to see what a great organization Mountain Shadows is. I’ve played in quite a few different charity tournaments over the years, and this was one that was very meaningful to me.”
In addition to career and family life, Kristi has also served on the North Coast Children’s Hospital Auxiliary for six years, and the National Charity League for seven years.
“In life, I think it’s important to just be a good person. If something needs to be done, do it. Be a contributor. Ask yourself, ‘How can I give back?’ I choose to focus on what is good, because when we are in that mind space, we can be more helpful, and more useful to others. “I think the most important thing I bring to Mountain Shadows is a willing heart, and I love to help out where I can. If you need help. Let me know. I will show up.
“I’m excited to be a part of this incredible organization.” |
(left to right) Morgan, McKamie, Matt and Kristi, charting the course for a hope-filled future. |
As Kristi looks back at her life and faith, she says:
“After I lost Walt and Sydney, I think I was at a breaking point. But then I also began to see God’s mercies in the situation. First, that my husband and I were both with Walt when he passed. That was a mercy.
“I was also three months pregnant with my second son at the time, so I could not come unglued. I had to be there for him. That was a mercy.
Mercy is the force that reawakens us and instills in us the courage to
look to the future with hope. ~Pope Francis
“And, because of my faith, I know I’ll see both of them in heaven again someday.” Perhaps that is the greatest mercy of all. We welcome you to the MSF Board, Kristi Day, and, with your help, we remain filled with hope for a better future for the entire Mountain Shadows Family. |
You Are Our Guiding Star! |
Donate Now to Help Chart Our Course To an Ever Brighter Future
For all of our Residents |
|
|
|
The Mountain Shadows Foundation – Because We CARE |
Thanks to YOUR SUPPORT, the Mountain Shadows CARE program provides recreational and social experiences to residents and participants adding meaning and richness to their lives.
It’s easy for you to help us continue to provide activities like this – activities that improve the quality of our residents’ lives in fulfillment of their dreams. Here are some ways you can help ensure these crucial activities can continue for years to come: -
Make a one-time donation today by clicking on the donate button below.
- Make a monthly or annual contribution.
- Leave a Legacy Gift.
To learn more about the Mountain Shadows Foundation Legacy Society, to include us in your estate plan, or to let us know if you have already designated Mountain Shadows to receive a legacy gift, please contact Mandy Huiras, Director of Development at: mhuiras@mtnshadows.org, or visit our website by clicking here:
Learn More About the Mountain Shadows Foundation Legacy Society Please share this story with your family, friends and co-workers to help grow our Mountain Shadows Family!
To learn more about Mountain Shadows volunteer opportunities, please click below:
Learn about Mountain Shadows Volunteer Opportunities Here |
Mandy Huiras
Mountain Shadows Foundation Director of Development
Contact Mandy today to learn more about the Mountain Shadows Foundation and how you can continue to make a difference in the lives of our residents:
mhuiras@mtnshadows.org |
|
|
|
Our Contact Information
*{{Organization Name}}*
*{{Organization Address}}*
*{{Organization Phone}}*
*{{Organization Website}}*
*{{Unsubscribe}}* |
|
|
|
|
