A Quiet Man: Mountain Shadows Honors Terry Trax by Sheryl Wilde Mountain Shadows helped his son, and he never forgot it.
Many of you in our Mountain Shadows Family remember Terry Trax. He was a quiet man in what can sometimes seem a loud world. He was unassuming. Kind. Very humble.
His son, Joshua, had cerebral palsy. Josh was completely immobile. He couldn’t walk. He couldn’t talk. He had to be bathed, dressed, fed, and cared for 24 hours a day. And Terry, a single father, lovingly, willingly, provided that care each and every day – in addition to working fulltime and caring for another young son. Then, the day came, as it does for many parents of disabled children, where Terry could no longer take care of Josh on his own. Josh was too big, and Terry could no longer get him in and out bed, or carry him up and down the stairs.
Fortunately, Terry found Mountain Shadows, and while Josh was a resident for only two years, the bond that was created has lasted more than three decades.
For 30 years, Terry participated in the Mountain Shadows Fall Classic Golf Tournament to give back to those who cared for his son when he could not. His other son, Noah, continues the tradition of golfing in the Fall Classic today, in his father’s footsteps.
In honor of Terry, in honor of his son, Joshua, and in honor of the care that inspired his family’s more than 30-year commitment to Mountain Shadows, we invite you to read the story below, to celebrate Terry’s life.
Families like Terry’s are why Mountain Shadows exists. And all of the residents, like Josh, that we have been fortunate to serve over the past 30 years, continue to live better lives because of your support. |
“A little piece of our hearts will always be at Mountain Shadows,” says Jodi Trax, Terry’s wife.
“Our son, Joshua, lived at Mountain Shadows thirty-four years ago. He lived at Mountain Shadows for only two years, when, due to spinal surgery, and the resulting medical conditions, he had to move to another facility.
“But, we were so impressed with everything Mountain Shadows did.
“Josh had cerebral palsy. He couldn’t talk. He had to be fed. He was in a wheelchair. But he was very happy at Mountain Shadows. He made friends. It became his home.
“Josh died when he was only twenty-two years old. But he brought to our life joy and laughter. He was just a joy. He’s still an important person that we talk about a lot. We have so many wonderful memories of him.” |
“Terry was Josh’s caregiver,” says Jodi. “I made the food and did the laundry and kept things clean. But Terry was the one who bathed him, changed him, fed him. He was wonderful with Josh.
Adds Julie Wood, Terry’s stepdaughter, “Terry was truly just a really kind human being. He cared about other people’s kindness. Other people’s disrespect bothered him. He couldn’t understand why more people didn’t strive to be kind as human beings. He was an unbelievably devoted father to Josh. He was a single dad and raised Josh by himself until he met my mom.
“Josh required 24-hour care and Terry had to work fulltime – and he had two young boys. Josh was fully immobile. He did it all. He would bathe him, feed him. He did everything for him after a full day of work. And he made sure in the mornings, Josh got off to school. He did it all very willingly. He wanted to do it. “Terry was a big protector of Josh. Josh couldn’t speak for himself, so Terry always made sure to be that voice for him. He made sure Josh had a full life, that he was always a big part of the family.” |
Continues Julie, “It got to a point where Terry couldn’t take care of Josh. He couldn’t carry him upstairs. He was too big for Terry to carry. “But Josh developed a lot of friendships at Mountain Shadows. He loved the staff. He had a social life with people who were like him. It created a world of normalcy for him. Life at Mountain Shadows, for Josh, was enriching.
“When Josh died it was a huge blow to the whole family, but to Terry more than anybody else. I don’t think it’s something he ever really got over. I think he harbored guilt. You know, that parent guilt, like, “Could I have done more for him?” I don’t know that you ever get over that – losing a child with so many special needs. It’s a heavier life. But Terry did everything with so much grace and love and kindness.”
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Adds Julie, “I learned a lot from Terry just about how to be a good human.
“Terry really declined at the end of his life. He was very, very sick. He could hardly eat and he had a ton of pain. But when I’d show up, he would still muster a smile and say, “I feel better now that you’re here.” The last few days, he could barely open his eyes, but he would still say thank you for everything. He’d thank us for taking care of him.
“Terry was my dad. He walked me down the aisle. He raised me. And I married a wonderful man who is a lot like Terry. He was just a really good dad and a really good human being.” Says Jodi, “Every day with Josh, every day with Terry- it was just joyful.” |
Adds Jodi, “I think the reason Terry, and our whole family, remained involved with Mountain Shadows for all these years, is that they are so supportive, so positive. They go out of their way to bring joy into the residents’ lives.
“I remember talking to another resident one time. She told me she was going to visit her family. Of course she loves her family, but she said she was so glad to get back home, to Mountain Shadows. And I said to myself, “Yeah, that’s how Josh felt.” It was his home. It was really home. “Terry loved golf. The Mountain Shadows Golf Tournament was a way for him to stay involved and connected.”
Julie agrees, “The golf tournament was a big deal for Terry. He went every year. He had friends golf with him, and they did it every year. It was a big deal to him to raise money for Mountain Shadows.
“Especially after Josh passed, I think having that connection, through the golf tournament, with Mountain Shadows, was a really big part of his ability to heal. It was a huge help to him to have that closeness and participation. He still saw people he’d known, and some of the same residents were still there. It was a really great experience for him. He loved it. “My brother, Noah, is playing in the tournament now. He’s done it for several years. And he’s planning to continue to honor his dad and his brother, Josh.” |
Says Julie, “Terry was just such a kind, gentle, quiet man. He lived his life as a very simple person. He died as he lived, with quiet dignity.
“We were a blended family, but there has always been so much support, devotion, to each other. We really saw that during my dad’s illness. We all came together. And we did it in 1994, when Josh passed. It’s been a beautiful process. We band together and support each other. “For 40 years our family has been together. We stick together and hold onto the things that bind us as a family. And I would say that Mountain Shadows is one of those bonds that we, as a family, have. Mountain Shadows is very special to us.” |
Terry Trax passed away on February 20, 2024. We give our deepest gratitude and love to Terry and his family for their unwavering support over the past three decades. Josh considered Mountain Shadows home – and we consider the entire Trax family an integral part of our Mountain Shadows Family. We wish them peace and strength during this time. |
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The Mountain Shadows Foundation – Because We CARE |
Thanks to YOUR SUPPORT, the Mountain Shadows CARE program provides recreational and social experiences to residents and participants adding meaning and richness to their lives.
It’s easy for you to help us continue to provide activities like this – activities that improve the quality of our residents’ lives in fulfillment of their dreams. Here are some ways you can help ensure these crucial activities can continue for years to come: -
Make a one-time donation today by clicking on the donate button below.
- Make a monthly or annual contribution.
- Leave a Legacy Gift.
To learn more about the Mountain Shadows Foundation Legacy Society, to include us in your estate plan, or to let us know if you have already designated Mountain Shadows to receive a legacy gift, please contact Mandy Huiras, Director of Development at: [email protected], or visit our website by clicking here:
Learn More About the Mountain Shadows Foundation Legacy Society
Please share this story with your family, friends and co-workers to help grow our Mountain Shadows Family! |
Mandy Huiras Mountain Shadows Foundation Director of Development
Contact Mandy today to learn more about the Mountain Shadows Foundation and how you can continue to make a difference in the lives of our residents:
mhuiras@mtnshadows.org |
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